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"We're approaching the temporal limits beyond which the viability of your plan for the second pickup become untenable," it announced. Very simply put, the longer this went on inside the diner, the bigger the circus outside became. And the bigger the circus, the harder it became to penetrate the mess and extract young Kellie and her girlfriends."We have GOT to pick up the pace, people," I announced, using my built-in PA system. "Ladies, STRIP! Get it all off, so your potential sponsors can see everything they need to see! And guys! Remember -- it's all editable!" I headed down to the collection of female flesh, yelling, "Move it if you expect to attract a man!" Hustle and bustle got some of them moving, notably Chiquita's chubby Mexican girlfriend, who actually laid back on the floor, spread her legs and beckoned Mike. "Hey, you know, that's initiative," I told him. "Besides, they're girlfriends. If you want her slimmed down, you can get it..." Try it! You're gonna like it!" Mamacita. He talked about how they met, and what she was like. Roberta wanted to know intimate details of what her body looked like, and what kinds of things she liked. She went on and on, asking him about the movies she liked, and didn't like, and what kinds of restaurants she liked, and the music she tuned into on the radio. Jeff was more and more mystified, but kept going. He tried to keep it positive, but eventually he described how spoiled she was, and how demanding she was, and how she overspent on the budget. He ended up, to his ultimate surprise, as classifying her as... shallow."Why she even married me is a mystery to me," said Jeff. "She knew I was going to be a teacher. You'd have thought she'd know teachers don't get paid squat. She should have married a millionaire. She'd make the perfect trophy wife."Roberta stood there, a far away look in her eyes."It really is crazy," she said, "but it might actually work." What?!" said Jeff, his curiosity at a peak.She looked at him. "Phillip.
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